One spring day I decided it would do me some good to take a solo walk in a local mountain park. I had a focused hope and prayer that I would see some “sign” on this walk that might help with my confusion about myself and how to redefine my purposes, after mostly retiring from my psychotherapy practice. Giving up a large piece of one’s identity through work is no small thing.
It was a perfect day: sunny, 70 degrees, a few fluffy white clouds, a profusion of wildflowers. And then I saw something that stopped me in my tracks. It was a small flying creature, perhaps an inch and a half long, hovering low to the ground next to some bell-shaped purple wildflowers.
My first gut reaction was, “Ug! It’s a huge bug!” But staring at it a big longer, I noticed wings that moved so fast they were a blur, noticed a tiny beak inserted into each flower, one at a time, saw red markings on the wings and belly. The word “humming bird” replaced the word “bug” in my mind. Humming birds, of course, are in the category of “appealing.” So my reaction to the creature shifted from one perspective to another, without any change in the bug/bird itself. Now I was charmed. But as I continued to watch, I clearly saw that this being had two antennae on its head. Yipes. Birds don’t have that. My bird/bug teacher stayed around for two or three minutes, giving me a good long look, and then flew away.
I had many thoughts during the rest of my walk, and felt more clarity. Here was a being that was both this and that. It seemed to defy being placed in a single category, and yet there it was, nourishing itself and unabashedly living its life, one flower at a time. This creature modeled by example that we don’t always need labels, confining definitions or rigid plans. Finding satisfaction in a revised life is really about openness, love and nourishment, doing what comes naturally.
Later I learned that the creature I saw was actually a hummingbird moth. I had never heard of this, nor seen one until that moment. A friend send me a Youtube video of one of these in flight, taking nectar from flowers. Another friend told me that in Bolivia, hummingbirds are viewed as significant spiritual beings. I googled this for information, and learned that hummingbirds are messengers for happiness and lightness. Perfect. I needed some of that. And hummingbird moths are masters of transformation: they evolve from a worm into a lovely winged creature. Not a bad message, on a perfect spring day. This is worth celebrating.
Here is the hummingbird moth video, should you choose to see it!
Susan Rose: Singing Grandma 