The Rhythm Method

Yep. Most people think the rhythm method is a contraception endeavor that often leads to having children. But I’m changing gears and talking about MY rhythm method: an attempt to find reliable rhythm solely by tapping my foot or by gently smacking my hand against my leg while saying, “One, two three four.” I was doing it on my own, without external devices to monitor my success or the lack thereof. I was much like the parents-to be, who imagine that counting days of the month and having sex mindfully will prevent them from their destiny with diapers. Eggs and sperm often don’t give a rip about counting. They can be whimsical and impulsive. Apparently, so was my own misguided sense of rhythm while playing the guitar. I thought I was doing well until I recorded a song at home and then had the nerve to listen to it.

I could tell something was amiss, because my song didn’t quite have the forward motion that it deserved. Perhaps there was some hint of erratic lurching: it was time to find a mechanized drum beat that would measure and regulate what I was doing. I turned on a metronome and began to play along. Surprise! My rhythm wasn’t nearly as good as I had imagined. I learned that left to my own devices, I couldn’t tell when I was wildly off base. My sense that there was “a hint of erratic lurching” was a gross underestimation of my roaming around without a compass. With the mechanical prop in place, I had a prayer of eventually finding the groove on my own. And things got better.

Sometimes we desperately need the correction of others. We don’t know how far we have strayed from good sense or from accuracy if we don’t have the help of friends, family, neighbors, teachers, etc. If you keep yourself in a closed circuit with your own habits, your own opinions and your own compatriots who think you are beyond challenge, you may be more off base than you think you are. Who will hold up a real mirror? The best friendships, the best marriages, the best workplaces all give us feedback that is necessary, true and kind. Even if the feedback is delivered in a less than ideal manner, it can still be very valuable. And how many of us can guarantee that our communications always will be ideal? My recorder gave me the feedback I needed, with no moralizing, no padding, and no extraneous remarks. It was just an auditory mirror. I didn’t enjoy finding out that I was less competent than I thought I was. Embarrassing, but oh, well. Now I can get better.