Actually, my goal is to be grateful more often. So far I haven’t found pep talks about gratitude or suggestions about gratitude practices to be helpful. It all depends upon how willing I am to receive comfort or direction. Having been pushed around too much as a kid, often I have resistance to suggestions, and I don’t let them in. (Yes, I know I can get in my own way: I’m working on it!) When I am disappointed, sad, angry or pessimistic, the last think I want to hear is a message about how I could or should feel better. Sometimes I just need to vent, whine, wallow, and be heard. Stories about how somebody else has it worse, or how much better I’ll feel tomorrow can leads to a deeper dive.
Sometimes offers of help can come across as well-intended demands, rather than freely given attention and concern. Our human helpers may feel it is their job to lead us out of the darkness, and if we don’t budge, they may feel they are failing and become more insistent or a bit frantic if we don’t perk up. This is a stalemate, hard on both people. It’s a real challenge to help someone else without taking responsibility for his or her problem, and without having your own ego tied up in the outcome. And it can be painful to simply bear witness to the pain of someone you love. What a gift, when help is offered with patience and without expectations. Now that is really something to be grateful for!
When I write songs about a topic like this one, the song is often wiser than I am as I stumble towards these ideals. A song can be a roadmap or beacon, pointing the way home. “Grateful” is that kind of song. I hope it speaks to you.
Susan Rose: Singing Grandma 